oh those useless things...

Dear Augosto,

As I have delved into fatherhood head first, my eyes have been open to various things that I never really paid attention to in the past. Things such as baby food, baby toys, baby gadgets, baby clothes, baby cleaning stuff, etc...

While on this great journey, I have seen many things that really don't make much sense. Some just seem useless while others are just strange.

So instead of ignoring them and going about my life, I have decided to mention a few.

Useless Baby Stuff #1: Pockets on Baby Pants.

Why? That's my question. Why do baby pants need pockets? It's not like you have money to put in there. And by money, I actually mean coins--two at the most--because that is probably all that would fit in there.

Now, don't get me wrong. If you were to perform some sort of miracle and actually ask me for money right now, I would happily give it to you. But you see, here's the problem. I am quite sure it would end up nowhere near your pockets. It would go straight to your mouth.

Useless Baby Stuff #2: (Insert Name Brand) Baby Shoes

Now, I'm cool with you having shoes. But shoes with a swoosh, no way. Some of those shoes cost more than the shoes I am wearing. And if I'm lucky, my shoes last me two years. You on the other hand, they would only last 2 months. Maybe.

Useless Baby Stuff #3: Baby Wipe Warmer.

Now, I have no issues with you having a warm baby wipe, especially during the winter. But I figure that's why I have hands and very hot breath. That does the trick every time.

And the baby wipe warmers are kind of too weird looking anyway. They look like big fat inkjet printers that dispense hot napkins.

Useless Baby Stuff #4: Baby Knee Pads.

Again I just ask, "Why?"

and last but not least...

Useless Baby Stuff #5: An alarm clock.

OK. To tell you the truth, this is just something that I realized that is quite unnecessary since you have become a part of my life. My concerns about over-sleeping are over. Actually, you are now my alarm clock. And you don't have a snooze button! Which is fine with me. Last thing I want to do is snooze while you continue to outgrow everything we bought for you.

That's all I got for now.

I'm back in Milwaukee a day early and I already had a fun time hanging with you at the open house for your daycare.

Sleep tight son.

Love.

Dad.